KALPATHY – DOWN MEMORY LANE (2) - STORY

KALPATHY –

DOWN MEMORY LANE (2) - STORY

It is exactly after 30 years, I am touching the soil of Kalpathy (A small village in Kerala) - Today is 14th of November, 2006.

The time is 4.00 AM. In a few hours from now, the climatic three-day extravaganza of the nine day festivities, - what lakhs of Keralites, irrespective of caste or creed - in and around Palakkad and nearby towns and villages in particular - eagerly look forward, will unfold. “Kaasiyil Paathi Kalpathy…,” (Kalpathy is 50% of Varanasi) they say. In a sense, even I am here for a wholesome dip to wash off my sins, (paapa), and for making amends (parihaara!)

The Kalpathy River, however, flows in its usual majestic splendour. It was on a similar night three decades back, I bade good bye to this soil. In fact, two of us – Radhika and myself. Poor girl, she never got the chance to feel and smell the proverbial “Ther Kaattu” (Chariot Breeze) again! She left last year, leaving me to silently endure the sufferings. The end was sudden and unexpected………... … How I wish she was with me till my last breath! Such a solace she was, and I could bury all my pangs of sorrow on her caring shoulders!

Appa and Amma must have been shattered. I was a coward. I never dared to face them, and handle things properly. And, at no point of time did Radhika ever question whatever I did. Now, after thirty years, I wish better sense prevailed. But then, it is too late……Radhika would always say, “What you sow, so you reap...” God! And how we reaped!

UDAY. That was our son. When he was born, our joy knew no bounds. Bharani was his birth star. ‘He is going to rule the world’, they said, “Bharani, dharani aalvaan, nee vena paathukko”.. (you just wait and see, “Bharani” will rule the world) It was Radhika’s idea to name him so. “He will bring us lots of luck, see”, she said. And, luck, he got us aplenty, indeed. All the fortunes we built in the Mahanagar that is Bombay, was after Uday arrived. Both of us were civil engineers from NSS, Palakkad. While I took to construction, she confined herself to design.

Our career graph started growing upward, and very rapidly, at that. Those were the years when there was a severe dearth for civil engineers. Every one aspired to be only mechanical engineer, or chemical engineer, no takers for civil! There was no Electronics, or other branches, as we have now. There were only three basic streams, civil, electrical & mechanical. Trivandrum & Trichur offered chemical also. But very limited seats. The net result was that by the time we came out of college in 1975, the demand for civil engineering graduates far exceeded the supply. 

When Uday was three, we decided to have another child. We didn’t want our son to suffer from single child syndrome. I was the only child for my parents. And I knew what it is being a single child, though realization dawned much later in life. My dad probably didn’t realize the hazards then, and the pangs this would bring me later. Perhaps he felt he couldn’t afford a second child. Anyway, much to our delight, Sandhya was born. Magam was the star. “Magam piranna Manga”, (The girl born on Magam star) we all rejoiced. I suggested the name, and she agreed, “Assthikkoru Aaan, Aasaikkoru Ponn”, (a son to inherit your wealth and a daughter to fondle) I said. “No more experiments!” Being from Palakkad, she was able to understand most of our typical usages, though she could not get the more intricate ones!

Our growth was phenomenal. Uday and Sandhya were also growing. Both were good at studies, and when other parents would take leave and sit with their children even for class exams, we hardly knew how the kids were doing. The reports, however spoke for themselves. Again, we were too busy with our jobs, or ‘career’, as the management jargon goes. Uday got into engineering, “Triple – E” which was the fad at that time. Sandhya was very clear about her priorities, “commerce is my cuppa tea”, she would say, and the brilliant girl that she was, she cleared CA in her maiden attempt, again with rank. We were “Neighbours’ envy, and Owners’ pride.” We had everything. But then destiny had different plans. After 30 years, I realize the full significance of ‘Vinai vithaithavan’ (One who has sown hatred) ………… Yes, the “aruvadai naal” (harvesting day) came - with a real bang!

Uday wanted to do his MS, and got his admission with internship at Carnegie Mellon University and we were literally in cloud nine. He went on to complete his doctorate also in his favourite “Robotics” at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT). Getting into a good organization was no problem for him. Everything was too nice and too good until one day the bomb exploded. He sent a mail saying that he is deeply “on a bondage” with an American girl, and he ‘is’ intending to marry her. Apparently, they were on a ‘living in’ relation for the past six months. I sincerely wished he sought our views, but that was not to be. Radhika was willing to accept everything, a Christian, non-Indian of diametrically opposite cultural background and food habits – anything. But a girl almost 5 years elder to him! That was beyond her wildest perception. As if to add insult to injury, he posed a very valid question, “Appa mattum enna panninel?” (What did you do Dad..?) and, that was the proverbial last straw. Or, why blame him? In a way, he is very right! You reap only what you sow.

Yes… !  Let me take you down memory lane…………..

Appa was 70 when I passed my PU. I do not know much about him.  He wasn’t of a talking kind. Most of our communications, I remember, were through body language. His look would speak volumes. In fact, I had strict instructions to be back home by 7.00 at any cost. You play, swim or whatever. But be back at the stroke of seven. That was the order. And my schedule was very clear, and specific. 7.00 to 7.30 PM, wash, and Naamajapam. Amma would recite, and I repeat. Each day of the week had specific slokas, on Siva on Mondays, Durga on Fridays etc! Have dinner at the stroke of eight, study till 9.00 and sleep. There were no peer pressures, or parental pressures to perform and be expert in everything! Times were very different! Crèche, KG, Pre-KG, Dyslexia, Remedial classes etc., were unheard of. Schooling starts after the child completes 5 years. Till such time he or she thoroughly enjoys the childhood times. 

My day would start at 5.30 in the morning. After brushing the teeth with “umikkari” (fried skin of paddy peels) (or ‘mukkeri’ in local terminology!), I start off for Kalpathy puzha for a hearty swim and bath, washing of clothes etc. Morning rituals are carried out on the river bank itself! After Sandhya Vandanam, I would return home by 8.30 or so. (My ‘Upanayanam’ was conducted just as I completed seven years) Amma would feed me whatever is there, Arisi adai, (Rice cake) most of the times. There will be iddlies occasionally. Dosa was a luxury, because oil was costly! It was much later that I came to know that she was starving most of the days! I could feel the ball gliding through my throat now!

Go to school, which was 3 miles away. All of us would walk. Very few houses. Mostly mangoe groves. Pluck whatever is within reachable height, run away when the caretaker chased us with a stick! What a life, that was! In school, it was a different story. HM-cum-owner, Mr. Sharma was very strict. Always seen with a long cane, he must have been replacing the ‘weapon’ at least thrice a week. I myself have seen it breaking couple of times. Twice or thrice, I too have felt the ‘heat’. “Chutta pedai kedachaa thaan neengal ellam uruppaduvel…” (You will flourish later, only if you taste the hot caning from me now) - His standard dialogue! But being a fairly brilliant student, I was generally spared of his wrath.

Appa was a disciplinarian to the core. On the other hand, Amma was very compassionate, and understanding. She could talk convincingly - on any subject! I learnt many a mantras from her which I can recite even today, and several keerthanas, varnams, my God! So many values she had planted in my tiny brains - values which helped me quite a bit in the latter part of my life.

She used to sing very well, but Appa wasn’t particularly enthusiastic about music! (You don’t relish the finer aspects of life when stark realities are staring at your face, perhaps! These finer aspects are most often overlooked, wantonly or otherwise!)

In fact, quite a few girls of the village used to come to my mother to learn a new song, or a new mantra. It is still a terrific puzzle to me to understand how she managed to learn new songs like “Bhavayami Raghuramam” and all that much before they became popular! Our neighbour had a radio, and perhaps amma would be listening to the kutcheries being broadcast, (all houses had a single partition wall and the happenings around – the arguments, the ‘oodals’ of day time, and the ‘koodals’ after the sunset – in the neighbour’s house were for free public entertainment!) and the records played during festivals, especially Navaratri. She had a tremendous memory, and grasping power. I could have inherited them, partly, at least!

After PU, I was getting ready to go to Bombay to try my fortune as a stenographer or PA to some executive in a private firm. But Amma was very adamant, “Ore pullai thane, chamathu, nannaa padikkarathu. Eppidiyaavathu mela padippikkalaam”. (He is our only son – and very smart; studying well also. Somehow we will make him study further) She wanted to see her son as Engineer. Whatever meagre income Appa brought through upaadhyaayam was just enough to run the family. She would make pickles and sell them, do all kinds of odd jobs like stitching petticoats, gowns, blouses and all that. By God’s grace, I got a scholarship for fees waiver, and mess allowance, but then the other expenses were heavy. It is still a mystery to me how Amma managed! Five years at NSS rolled off just like that!

When I passed in first division, she must have been the happiest person. Appa just gave a wry smile, when I showed him my registration number in tiny black letters under the heading ‘first class’ in “Mathrubhumi” newspaper! Surely, they must have hoped that this guy will now take care of them for the remaining days. As destiny would have it, the sparkle in Radhika’s eyes was much more powerful than the hopes and expectations of my parents at that point in time! Not that I have much regrets. I only wish I did not act in an utterly cowardice manner as I did!  Rather than facing the situation boldly, both of us decided to run away, fearing chaos. Radhika was Ezhava, and I was from a highly orthodox Brahmin family. Society was not as permissive and understanding as it is today. Both families would have come down heavily on us, and we were really scared of our lives! Radhika’s two elder brothers were local ‘dadas’ and I am sure they would not have taken things kindly. They would have made a pulp of me when they came to know. Everything seemed insignificant at that time. And it was on a similar foggy Ther eve, we fled and took the train to Bombay.. Rest, as the saying goes, is history.

After Uday totally severed all connections with us, we were pinning all our hopes on Sandhya. Money we had in plenty. But at some point in life, you yearn for something else. Sandhya gave us no clue till the last moment, and on a fine Saturday evening, she came home with a boy and introduced him as her husband! “Meet Mathew Varghese, my husband”, she said, “We got married at the Registrar Office this afternoon. And tomorrow is the formal wedding at Byculla CSI church”. Both were colleagues, apparently. The earth was literally caving in under our feet at that moment !

Next morning Radhika had a heart attack. Though she survived, her health was going from bad to worse. Exactly after 10 months, she left for her abode leaving me high and dry. Old age without the support of your wife is terrible, let me tell you. I would call Radhika a dozen times every day, realizing with a shock that she is no more with me. But then, she was living at every inch of our palatial bungalow. I never bothered to find out about Uday or Sandhya. It is after all their life, and they have every right to live it the way they want. God bless them!

Later, I met my close friend Venkittu at VT by chance. He told me about the pathetic end of Appa and Amma. I wept like a 3 year old when I learnt that mother died soon after I ditched every one. And, there was only father to light her pyre. Seems he collapsed after lighting it and breathed his last! Apparently, it was the talking point for all the nearby villages for a very long time.

Here I am, standing alone, on the banks of Kalpathy river, or what is popularly known as “Neela” river, (Neela in Sanskrit means fish) flowing without any emotion, or care for all the happenings around. I don’t know how much water has flown through since that fateful night few decades ago. Pretty much, must be!

The sun is slowly showing up, and the villages are getting active for the grand finale. Another three days, everyone would forget everything; the only thought is the celebrations, and taking good care of the guests. After the Theru, (Chariot festival) I will be going to the Govindarajapuram village to register my name in the society which deputes Brahmins for Sapindeekaranam (10th day function after the death of someone in the family) wherever there is a need. All the wealth me and Radhika amssed, I have donated to a charitable society in Matunga which takes cre of the education of brahmin children. I am very clear about the noble path I will be treading for the rest of my life. It is a strong conviction and I have chosen my path for the rest of my life. What better way to amend for the pangs of sorrow I had inflicted on my parents...... !

PS:

                       

The story is out and out a figment of imagination; any resemblance to the characters – living or dead – is somewhat intentional..! To an extent, the content summarizes my childhood experiences, observing the happenings around, and most importantly, bits of information gathered by listening to people, and the ocean of knowledge they gave me.

Please do not ask me what is the ‘moral’ of the story, ’coz there isn’t any!

If any one feels hurt after reading this, well it is your problem!

For more insight into the “history” part of Kalpathy the ‘chariot festival’, & origin of Kerala Brahmins (‘Pattars’ as they are popularly known!) please read PART 1 – ‘(HISTORY)’by the same author

http://anandforever-anand.blogspot.com/2016/11/kalpathy-down-memory-lane-1-history.html

Anand